Thursday, March 8, 2007

Dear Don: Advice from "The Predator"

By Don Frye

Don Frye has beaten up more men, for more money, in more places than you can even spell. Who better to turn to for advice on life, love, and the pursuit of awesomeness?

If you have a question that you’d like Don to answer, simply email it to

Keep in mind that we get a high volume of questions, so please be patient. In the meantime, check back regularly for new editions of MMA’s most heralded advice columnist, Don Frye.

Dear Don,

I know that a lot of your questions are asked by men, but I’m a 33-year-old woman. The guy I've been seeing is real macho, like you, so hopefully you can help me.

This guy and I have been dating for about 2 months. Our relationship has mainly consisted of sex only. We meet, maybe talk for 5 minutes, and then it’s right down to business. We have amazing sex! Best I've ever joke. But I'm really starting to like this guy and I don't want to get hurt. How do I tell him without chasing him away? Or should I just back off a bit and play like I'm not so interested?

First of all, this sounds like a pretty good deal, so I’m not sure you want to go and mess with it. But if you really want to find out if he’s interested, it’s simple: do what every other woman in the world does.

The next time he comes over, you suddenly get your period. Then you suggest that the two of you just talk. If you really want to get crazy, do what married women do and get your period three or four times a month.

It may not seem like a good idea at first, but if he sticks around through all that then you know he likes you. If he doesn’t, then at least you found out.

Dear Don,

I recently read in an interview that you were one of the hardest hitters in MMA. I work in a really stressful, fast-paced office environment with a lot of people I can’t stand, so I’m interested in being able to hit someone as hard as possible. How do you do it?

People always ask me whether hitting hard is something that you’re born with or if you can learn it. Like with most things, it’s a little of both. Sure, you have to be born with some natural talent, but you also have to learn to do it right.

First off, join a gym. Throwing a good punch isn’t something you can just talk about. You have to do it. Gain some strength, and find someone who can teach you the proper mechanics. You have to learn how to sit down on your punches, how to get the power from your hips.

But most of all, you have to go punch some people. Learn to let loose. It’ll come with practice. If it doesn’t, get a bat.

Dear Don,

Even though I’ve done pretty well in both my personal and professional life (amazing, beautiful wife and a solid job with decent pay), I’ve always kind of had this feeling that I’m really a screw-up and I’ve got this far mostly on good luck and charm.

I’m now about to become a father for the first time. I’m extremely happy about it, but also a little worried. How do I know I’m not going to screw this kid up?

Partner, take it from someone in the same boat: you’re going to do fine. What you need to do is be there. You’d be surprised how much that counts for. Be there and be the father figure that a lot of people never have in their lives. Do that, and let your wife handle the tough stuff, because odds are she’s the smart one.

As to whether you’re a screw-up…well, yeah, you probably are. We’re all screw-ups. I’m a screw-up, you’re a screw-up. Our dads were screw-ups. So what? You ever know someone who wasn’t at least a little bit of a screw-up?

The fact that you’re worried about this makes me think you’re going to be okay. No matter what you do, your kids aren’t going to be perfect.

Don’t worry so much. Just do your best, make sure you’re there as much as you can be, and the rest will take care of itself.

Got a problem? Don can help. Email and await your salvation. Keep in mind that questions may be edited for length and content.

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