The Miller Report: Back in Hollywood.. Delaware was dope. Dopeaware.

Just taught an awesome seminar in Delaware. The students were great and I forgot how cool the east coast was. I also forgot how freakin cold it is. I had snot frozen to the side of my face 10 seconds off the plane. Since I was still on west coast time, I got dropped off at the hotel and couldn't sleep, and with no real food to eat, I visited the 400 pound front desk girl, got some quarters, went to the vending machine and had an all night junk-food orgy. I normally wouldn't do such a thing, but I rationalized it by noting how hard I had trained all that week. I bet if I invited the front desk girl, things would've got REALLY wild.

I noticed on the plane they had replaced the outdated"no smoking" signs with "please turn off electronic devices," which, along with the shakes I got from forgetting my ipod at home, drew a parallell for me to the fact that a lot of us are dealing with an electronic addiction, closely related to nicotine or caffiene. Once we realize that you can pretty much be addicted to anything that gives you good feelings, such as liquor, IM chatting, food, sex, gambling, heroin, I think we will progress as a species. We simply must instill it in the youth and teach them that all these things, if abused can damage and control your life. Only then can we rise above them. I'm believe myself to be lucky, I avoided drinking until I was about 20 and didn't get into drinking hardcore until a couple of years ago- and when I was drinking, I was absolutely bananas, and loved it. The only problem was that everyone else around me hated it. I got tired of waking up with a head full of no memories and a list of people to apologize to, so I hung up my drinking boots. Wasn't very hard, since I was early in my alcoholic career, but I'd hate to see how hard it would've been, had I started, say at 13. I definitely would have had a longer road to tow, whatever the hell that means.

I went to the dentis recently to have a tooth filled (no more junk food orgies). Quite a trip.

As I had two people with all types of tools digging through my mouth, it occurred to me how far we have come from picking ticks and mites off of each others fur. I now have a man with an electronic instrument patching up a hole in a piece of bone sticking through my gums. A couple hunderd years ago, they just yank that sucker out after I took a couple of pulls of hard liquor, and fit me with some oak choppers. Now they cover my tooth like I'm a cybernetic organism. I'm down with that. The was pretty digital. Next thing you know I'll be getting my veins and arteries replaced with nylon-polymer tubing and just eat pure bacon for sustinence. I will then be fitted for biomechanical wings and a jetpack on my ass, so my trips to seminars won't require me to take US Airways.


Mayhem

Source: Jason "Mayhem" Miller

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